So here it is, me pretending to be a games reviewer again! Many years ago I wrote reviews and articles for a couple of websites I was affiliated with through friends or online gaming communities; they were pretty much the alpha tests on these also feeble items. Now that I'm a sexy blog writer, I want to make the blog bigger than just news on how I fed my cat today. Actually, I don't have a cat. I may be one of the only people with a page on the net that doesn't have a cat. I do like cats, but I hate cat shit. I live in an upstairs flat beside a main road, so it would need to be a stay-at-home type of cat, and would obviously have to leave his smelly gifts in a litter tray. In my flat. Where I would have to clean it up... There is absolutely not a fucking chance that'll ever happen!So yeah, the review... I should point out I would have to categorise myself as a hardcore gamer, and not part of the casual market. I used to play Quake (world, the original) competitively, I've ran two large gaming communities, I have a mouse that costs £70 (amongst my absurd collection of high cost gaming hardware) and I have a PC that looks like the Obelisk from 2001 A Space Odyssey, but with "menacing" red lights here and there on it; It makes a similiar noise to an Apache Gunship helicopter taking off and can probably hold pace with most military supercomputers. I play Left4Dead on it. Also, I now play:
A few months ago, my flirtations with "casual" games started with Trials 2: Second Edition. This is absolutely THE most hardcore game I've ever played, yet cunningly disguised with a super-slick control system and interface that's only equaled by the games' pick up and play mechanics. Two minutes to learn the basics and throw your bike over a series of ramps (often breaking 30 or so bones, which is a whole kind of fun in itself), but then a hundred hours to do it at a level that sees you riding a 90 second daredevil course to perfection. Plants vs. Zombies retains a lot of the more casual gaming style, but adds so much content, variation in tactics and sub-games that it fits right in the market normally dedicated to the gaming obese. Though maybe I mean obsessed...
It's kind of a strategy game, with you planting your ehm, plants (not a pun surely?) in a defensive position while awaiting the onslaught of Zombies. The different Plants have different attacks; some fire peas, some corn-on-the-cob, some lob melons, then some are like giant-zombie-traps that eat a Zombie whole and so on... You get the idea; there are many variations on how you choose to defend any particular level.
There's a massive amount of extra gametypes and goodies to get in the game. These are unlocked as you get further, and keep unlocking even after you finish the game. This ensures you dont just complete the Adventure mode once, but that you replay it through on the proceeding difficulty levels to get or use all of the extra stuff. The sheer value for money in terms of hours of play is pretty damn good, especially if you managed to snag it during the Steam pre-release discount offer when it was about six of your British pounds! In fact, it's only equaled (bettered, if i'm honest) by Trials 2 for that factor, though the amount of gameplay in Trials 2' is at least partly due to the inbuilt worldwide leaderboard system. Which sadly I've found myself guilty of becoming obese with... Obsessed, I mean....
As it's a Popcap game, the mini-games are pretty much all based on other Popcap games, so you get Zombie or Plant versions of most of their more famous games. Bejeweled becomes Beghouled, Insanaquarium becomes Zombiaquarium amongst another sixteen variations; though a couple are done a second time with slight changes and increased difficulty. There's also a lot of "Puzzle" levels, which follow one of two gametypes. One sees you with a screen full of garden vases which you smash open, revealing either a Plant for you to place or a Zombie to defend against, utilising whatever items you've retrieved from the broken vases. The Second game type lets you play as the Zombies against a pre-built Plant defense. It usually has one ideal solution, though others can be used which tend to use more of your sun.
So I've hadn't mentioned sun until then... It's the commodity you earn from your sunflower plants. Each plant drops 25 points every 20 to 30 seconds. Obviously the more sunflowers you have, the more sun you earn. A decent plant will cost you upwards of 100 sun. It's a cut-down RTS mechanic that fits the game perfectly.
The final part of the game is the Zen Garden. This is where any Plants you receive from "presents" dropped by the Zombies are placed. You feed them water when they need it, then fertilizer to make them grow and finally at the end of each growth phase you play them music or use a 'mister' to spray them. It's basically a Tamagochi game that earns you regular money drops from each of your Plants. The Zen part of the name is fairly apt as it leaves you in a half-trance, sitting bleary eyed with your point of focus a couple inches in front of your screen, trying to spot which Plant needs what and supplying it as quickly as possible. I wouldn't exactly call it exciting, and when you only have a handful of plants, it's especially dull waiting for things to do. As you fill your garden though, it can become a high speed chase getting the money before it flickers and vanishes. You can however make each job easier by purchasing tools and even a Snail, Stinky from Insanaquarium, to assist. These are bought from the Shop which also lets you buy more exotic "special" plants to use in the main game.
At first I actually thought that I'd put proper reviews on here, but I find myself less enthusiastic about formulaic systems or scores for defining a games merit. So upon thinking about how most purchases of games I've ever made have been based, I'd rather that someone told me "This game is amazing, you HAVE to play it!", contrary to seeing it get 8/10 on some website I don't really give much of a damn about.
So, to sum this up... This game is amazing, you HAVE to play it!
I'd like to point out that the little nugget of information about Stinky the Snail doesn't actually come from me, but from my casual-games addicted wife...
The above pictures are all screenshots. Honest guv'...
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