Dying 2 do it all over again! [pt2]

* - continued...

Now to me the Left 4 Dead 2 announcement should have been fantastic news, and Valve were a company I had a lot of respect for, not least because they don't normally rush a game to market, especially a follow-up to such an influential and important title. However the alarm bells started ringing in my head. It completely seemed to me like they'd turned into more little milk-maids of the game world, grasping L4D's udders and milking it for all it's worth.

I was upset and amongst the first group of people to post on forums, criticising Valve for their new found "biz" skills. I joined an online petition for Valve to release this as a simple add-on for their game, giving us faithful players the value that they had themselves promised us many times. You see L4D was meant to have additional story parts added to it as free downloads. New weapons, new maps and possibly even new enemies to eviscerate. I felt betrayed by the only big gaming company that seemed to care about their fans. I even enlisted friends to join the petition.

You see, I was a tit. I've come to realise that even though I criticise other people for finding the negatives before the positives, I actually do it myself. My first instinct is usually a brief hint of optimism followed by a larger dose of quiet pondering to whatever bad side there could be, and then elaborating on it. Thankfully I usually then go onto a further stage of analysis that's mostly hopeful.

A year. I really thought that twelve months wasn't enough time with a single game. Other than my wife (obviously) and music, there's rarely anything that extends beyond a couple months in entertainment time. Say we pay £30 for the average game, which most people get at least fifteen hours of play from; that's £2 per hour. There's not a lot you can do for that price. Fun parks take tens of pounds every hour from you, a film costs £15 for up to two hours. Really, it's amazing value. Sure you could say the PC or XBox costs much more initially, but that's actually irrelevant as most people get their value from that in the sheer quantity of other things to do than games.

I've since watched some more clips of L4D2 and read a whole lot more. I've re-discovered my faith in Valve. They've made so many little changes that we'd be playing a slightly different game every couple of days if they were to add them all incrementally. What I would like to see mostly, are a bigger variation on the Special Infected (boss zombies) and more maps. Valve have also released the official L4D authoring tools, allowing everyone and their goldfish to build maps and change whatever they like. They've made numerous fixes and improvements to the gameplay and have basically got rid of 90% of the server browsing functions (it actually works now). Valve really do have our interests at heart, and after I realised this I took my name off the petition/group-list that is berating them on facts we don't even really know yet.

So with a renewed enthusiasm, I decided to do a little preparation to my PC for what I'm sure is going to be the game of 2009. I upgraded my graphics from something stupidly powerful, to something ridiculously powerful. I purchased a new widescreen super duper ultra high refresh monitor, and the one really over-the-top accessory that's more like a kilo of cherries on top of the cake; 3D Glasses.... They however, are a topic for another post. I'll just say "goddam!"...

I keep checking on all the new zombie films that are coming out, and there's probably five or so every month now, and actually one or two every few months that look fairly decent! It's now getting to be as big as the rest of the horror genres combined. We see AAA blockbusters released that are just glorified zombie shoots. Will Smith in I am Legend being one of the more entertaining. Yet for all these great films, I'd trade them all in for the hope that Left 4 Dead 2 doesn't disappoint.

I'm not going to talk about the game in any vague detail, as there are hundreds of other and better informed sites doing that every day. I posted this because I realised that a simple game had the power to get me more riled up than my own countries politics and current affairs. It got me more excited than any news about a favourite bands album. Games truly have become the number one form of media based entertainment. It's about time we treated them in a mature way. Not stamping our feet when we get something we weren't expecting. If we stop acting like children maybe the developers will stop giving us products for children. Maybe in fact, we can have our cake and eat it...

Left dying to do it all over again! [pt1]

Of all things Zombie, my single favourite is Left4Dead; the multiplayer co-op survival horror first person shooter (fps) from Valve. It's quite literally genius. I've played it for eight hour sessions at a time, with only small breaks to get a cuppa or let nature's course (and the previous cuppa) run through, so to speak... I'm going to come back to L4D in a minute, but I have to inform you all how bad I have this Zombie bug.

On one hard-drive alone, I have a directory of just Zombie films. At the last count, a few months ago, it was at a hundred and twenty, plus... I've probably obtained roughly one or two more per week since then and easily have a hundred and fifty now. I've watched all of them barring maybe three. Every single one has it's own quality, even if in many cases that quality happens to be a total lack of quality; they can still be admired even for that though, and of course for having zombies in them.

It all started when I was about eleven or twelve and watched Evil Dead 2 with my parents. For the first time I could remember, I cried, not in fear, but from laughing my pre-teen ass off. It made me jump, shriek, jump again, then laugh. A full ninety minutes later I was exhausted and delirious. Stunning. After that baptism of blood it took many more years before I realised I'd become a closet zombiephiliac.

Later I started to admire the earlier Italian zombie films, initially the Fulci films and I then found my way to Day of the Dead; George A Romero's third film in his series. I also laughed at that film, but a completely different kind of laugh. I wasn't guffawing at the Abbot and Costello style slapstick of a man getting his ass kicked by his own, and still attached, Zombiefied hand, but at the sheer gruesome spectacle I was witnessing. At the time it was Tom Savini that blew me away. Seeing a man pulled in half, hearing his voice reach almost ultra-sonic levels as his vocal chords stretched, tore and finally rend apart, all on screen. No dark filters or night time lighting to hide shoddy effects. No, this looked as real as my own hand in front of my mouth.

As I got over my teenage years I began to understand what it was that Romero was actually doing in each of his films and my love for them grew. There were deep social and political issues that he dealt with, that in complete honesty no other director would touch. Around the same time I began tracking down more classic Italian zombie films and finally over the few years I've broadened my collection; figuring that if there's one genre I can have every single entry of, that would be the one. Really I should have picked something more artistic or classy. Then again, I'm basically a geek...

It's at this point that I came to play L4D. I was excited when I first read about it; multiplayer game's where you band together to fight a common enemy appeal to the social and competitive gamer in me. Soon after the screenshots, I was playing the beta version a couple months in advance of the full game being released. Only two small maps and a couple of guns, yet I played that fifteen minute snippet over and over, more times than I could possibly remember. I had Gears of War, Assassins Creed and many other excellent games at the time, but that little demo whipped 'em all, like a fat girl in black leather, called Miss Payne. Or something...

After what felt like aeon's, the full game came out; I'd pre-ordered and pre-loaded it from Valve's Steam gaming network. I started it up, kicked off the single player campaign and relived a combination of Evil Dead and Day of the Dead (with some 28 Days Later thrown in for good measure). It scared me, excited me, amused me and made me rush through to Audrey's office every ten minutes to tell her how I barely survived a fifty strong zombie horde rushing me at a breakneck pace. Me backing away, throwing a Molotov cocktail down on the ground to snag any zombies trying to get to me through the flames. There were hundreds of moments I played through, each one of them like a classic heart-stopping moment straight out of any of my favourite films. Pure and simple genius. The game is a classic.

Forward the clock on a few months, Valve are at some games show with a big announcement. I wouldn't say I get excited when Valve announce something, but I get erect. Actually, I do mean excited... Anyway, I scan through the posting, bypassing the title, eagerly lapping up all the details; being able to sever a zombies foot and watching it hobble slowly towards you. Completely amputating it's legs and watching it drag itself along by the hands before bringing your axe down on it's head to finish it off. Further into the announcement the magic word appeared; "Chainsaw". Jesus himself appearing in front of me and giving me a lifetime worth of bread couldn't have had a bigger impact. Though maybe if he gave me a shitload of cash or magic powers instead of bread my reaction would be different. After satiating myself on all the announced Zombie goodness, I read the title; Left 4 Dead 2.

* - to be continued...

Green things versus dead things

So here it is, me pretending to be a games reviewer again! Many years ago I wrote reviews and articles for a couple of websites I was affiliated with through friends or online gaming communities; they were pretty much the alpha tests on these also feeble items. Now that I'm a sexy blog writer, I want to make the blog bigger than just news on how I fed my cat today. Actually, I don't have a cat. I may be one of the only people with a page on the net that doesn't have a cat. I do like cats, but I hate cat shit. I live in an upstairs flat beside a main road, so it would need to be a stay-at-home type of cat, and would obviously have to leave his smelly gifts in a litter tray. In my flat. Where I would have to clean it up... There is absolutely not a fucking chance that'll ever happen!

So yeah, the review... I should point out I would have to categorise myself as a hardcore gamer, and not part of the casual market. I used to play Quake (world, the original) competitively, I've ran two large gaming communities, I have a mouse that costs £70 (amongst my absurd collection of high cost gaming hardware) and I have a PC that looks like the Obelisk from 2001 A Space Odyssey, but with "menacing" red lights here and there on it; It makes a similiar noise to an Apache Gunship helicopter taking off and can probably hold pace with most military supercomputers. I play Left4Dead on it. Also, I now play:

A few months ago, my flirtations with "casual" games started with Trials 2: Second Edition. This is absolutely THE most hardcore game I've ever played, yet cunningly disguised with a super-slick control system and interface that's only equaled by the games' pick up and play mechanics. Two minutes to learn the basics and throw your bike over a series of ramps (often breaking 30 or so bones, which is a whole kind of fun in itself), but then a hundred hours to do it at a level that sees you riding a 90 second daredevil course to perfection. Plants vs. Zombies retains a lot of the more casual gaming style, but adds so much content, variation in tactics and sub-games that it fits right in the market normally dedicated to the gaming obese. Though maybe I mean obsessed...

It's kind of a strategy game, with you planting your ehm, plants (not a pun surely?) in a defensive position while awaiting the onslaught of Zombies. The different Plants have different attacks; some fire peas, some corn-on-the-cob, some lob melons, then some are like giant-zombie-traps that eat a Zombie whole and so on... You get the idea; there are many variations on how you choose to defend any particular level.

There's a massive amount of extra gametypes and goodies to get in the game. These are unlocked as you get further, and keep unlocking even after you finish the game. This ensures you dont just complete the Adventure mode once, but that you replay it through on the proceeding difficulty levels to get or use all of the extra stuff. The sheer value for money in terms of hours of play is pretty damn good, especially if you managed to snag it during the Steam pre-release discount offer when it was about six of your British pounds! In fact, it's only equaled (bettered, if i'm honest) by Trials 2 for that factor, though the amount of gameplay in Trials 2' is at least partly due to the inbuilt worldwide leaderboard system. Which sadly I've found myself guilty of becoming obese with... Obsessed, I mean....

As it's a Popcap game, the mini-games are pretty much all based on other Popcap games, so you get Zombie or Plant versions of most of their more famous games. Bejeweled becomes Beghouled, Insanaquarium becomes Zombiaquarium amongst another sixteen variations; though a couple are done a second time with slight changes and increased difficulty. There's also a lot of "Puzzle" levels, which follow one of two gametypes. One sees you with a screen full of garden vases which you smash open, revealing either a Plant for you to place or a Zombie to defend against, utilising whatever items you've retrieved from the broken vases. The Second game type lets you play as the Zombies against a pre-built Plant defense. It usually has one ideal solution, though others can be used which tend to use more of your sun.

So I've hadn't mentioned sun until then... It's the commodity you earn from your sunflower plants. Each plant drops 25 points every 20 to 30 seconds. Obviously the more sunflowers you have, the more sun you earn. A decent plant will cost you upwards of 100 sun. It's a cut-down RTS mechanic that fits the game perfectly.

The final part of the game is the Zen Garden. This is where any Plants you receive from "presents" dropped by the Zombies are placed. You feed them water when they need it, then fertilizer to make them grow and finally at the end of each growth phase you play them music or use a 'mister' to spray them. It's basically a Tamagochi game that earns you regular money drops from each of your Plants. The Zen part of the name is fairly apt as it leaves you in a half-trance, sitting bleary eyed with your point of focus a couple inches in front of your screen, trying to spot which Plant needs what and supplying it as quickly as possible. I wouldn't exactly call it exciting, and when you only have a handful of plants, it's especially dull waiting for things to do. As you fill your garden though, it can become a high speed chase getting the money before it flickers and vanishes. You can however make each job easier by purchasing tools and even a Snail, Stinky from Insanaquarium, to assist. These are bought from the Shop which also lets you buy more exotic "special" plants to use in the main game.

At first I actually thought that I'd put proper reviews on here, but I find myself less enthusiastic about formulaic systems or scores for defining a games merit. So upon thinking about how most purchases of games I've ever made have been based, I'd rather that someone told me "This game is amazing, you HAVE to play it!", contrary to seeing it get 8/10 on some website I don't really give much of a damn about.

So, to sum this up... This game is amazing, you HAVE to play it!

I'd like to point out that the little nugget of information about Stinky the Snail doesn't actually come from me, but from my casual-games addicted wife...

The above pictures are all screenshots. Honest guv'...